What we decide to put up with

A week or so ago I put a post up about being called names.  You know, rhinoceros, cow etc.  I took that post down just because it felt so negative.

I kind of wish I wouldn't have removed it.  Being a real woman means having real emotions and I was really hurt by the words.  Even though they aren't true and the person who did the name calling apologized up and down, the words still hurt.

I've been accessing emotions as of late.  Being 46, I have many years of experience with emotions.  And guess what...we all have them.  It is okay to feel what you feel.

At some point in our lives, we all come across what seems to be abusive and we have to look at the situation no matter who it is and decide whether or not it's something we deserve or should allow in our lives.

I'm generally a very happy go lucky kind of person, but when I have to take time to think about these situations I do become emotional.

I realized this morning that changes have to be made.  I don't, and no one ever, deserves to have that short of harshness.  The changes are purely mental.  Purely what I decide to allow into my life again.  I did spend many years of my life in abusive relationships so this kind of thing hurt me, but probably not as badly as it should have.

I've coached women from abuse.  I know how hard it is to make the kind of decisions that are life changing.  Decisions that will protect you not only physically but emotionally as well.  But these decisions have to be made.  Allowing anyone, no matter how much you love them to be abusive in anyway means that you are not loving yourself enough.

Now I am not going to get into talking about making yourself number one...because I have many opinions on that, but what I will say is that God made me the way I am.  I am proud of who I am and how far I have come.  I have learned to love myself as of late simply because I understand that God loved me first.  What others have to say about me I can use as creative criticism or just throw away what I don't need.

There is an old saying out there that if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.  So, with that being said, if you don't stand up for yourself, who will you fall for?

I am not sure I will ever completely understand why someone else could be so cruel, but I suppose its not for me to understand completely.  I do know that most people behave the way they are taught growing up until they finally decide to do something different, but I don't think I could ever intentionally hurt someone no matter how angry I've become.

Well...that's my rambling for today....Hopefully next time I'll be a bit more upbeat.

By the way...I love to have feed back...so if you read this and you are compelled...comment!